As I look around at my surroundings, the situation that I am currently facing in life, I sometimes forget how exactly I have come to this point. What I mean is that sometimes I just flat out forget major events that have happened in my life, possibly because I look forward so much as of late. I don't fully grasp where I have come from, what experiences I have had that has made me who I am. This amnesia can be good because as all those self help gurus pound into our minds that we are to look forward and what not the amnesia is what helps us look forward. But I am just now finding out that looking back is not a sin, in fact it is almost necessary. If I don't look back it almost seems that I am just fooling myself in the present.
I'm not the life of the party. By no means. That is not bad at all though, I mean I could then be that person who doesn't say much in public yet still says meaningful phrases when I do say something. Nope, I'm not that guy either. I say the stupidest things around my friends, and other people, frankly because I just don't know what to say. It seems as though I have a hard time trying to figure out what the people around me want to hear. That would seem like the problem right there, that I should just say what ever I want to with a free conscience. But I, as do most others, say things with ethical considerations around the group that I am talking to. You know the drill, kids try not to cuss around elders, I emphasize try not to, but pay no mind when they are around their friends.
I take this to an extreme though. I limit my likes and dislikes to the person that I am talking to. I don't boldly say that I'm a Christian if I know the reaction of the person would be chastisement toward me. Pretty bad, huh? Which leads me to this; my social awkwardness is what determines my direct value to others. My best friend usually hears my best conversations, simply because there is nothing to hide from him. But other people (and unfortunately friends of mine) don't get that rare moment from me, they get a passive shy person who says irrational things every now and then to try and get a laugh.
So there I have spilled the beans a little to describe how I am. I'm that weak person that Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 1. And there is a strange coincidence. The only other friend of mine who at the very least picks up a bible, is the other awkward member of our group of friends. Why is it that way? Why can't there be a 'popular' person who speaks fluently with grace and cunning in our group who also believes in Christ Jesus? Is Christianity a 'weak' thing, a 'crazy' thing (Mel Gibson is not weak, so he must be crazy then.) By no means it is not. By no means is it a psychological answer and social acceptor only for the weak. Someone did not event religion so as to go around saying "treat others as you would treat yourself, because I really hate it when you pick on me guys!" This does nothing for the person being picked on, because nature, and anthropologists, would contend that the survival of the fittest stands firm and that the 'strong' person is not going to listen to your bantering of "treat me fair." Religion, Christianity, is so much more complex than that. Paul was a hard nosed tax collector who had much weight in the social society of ancient Israel. He was one of those 'strong' people, survival of the fittest people. He got turned around though (very dramatically) and became incredibly humble. The strong can enter the kingdom, it is just that they have to use their strength for good, to be humble in their gifted areas.
Anybody can become a Christian. It takes their ability to become humble and to become a servant that will determine if they can or can't. It takes solely belief upon the Cross as to whether or not they are atoned for their sins. The atonement already happened, they just have to except it, and then have to reconnect with God. God is not something that the weak have devised so as to combat the strong. Instead, God created the weak and the strong so as to teach just one of His many lessons in life, that the weak will prove the strong foolish!